YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/SEX AND PROBLEMS OF DAILY LIVING: PEOPLE WHO ALMOST LOST THEIR SEXUAL INTIMACY

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Meet people who almost lost their sexual intimacy for the rest of their lives.

Wife: “You said to schedule sex. You said to get up an hour earlier. We did and we do, but now the hour is all used up. Any time we have gets sucked right in. We really don’t have time for sex. We really don’t have much time for doing much of anything. I swear, someone once said that life is eighty percent maintenance, and for us, it’s more like ninety-eight percent.”

HUSBAND: “Now I have to file my taxes four times a year. I have to go to school conferences, doctors’ offices, kids’ activities, business meetings, call repairmen, pay bills, and it is all so frustrating. The school, the IRS, the dentist, and the plumbing and heating guy all screwed up on the billing. I have written four letters to the phone company about a bill on a phone I don’t have, and now I’m getting a penalty charge on this stupid bill I don’t even owe. What’s worse is I can’t talk to anybody. When I do, they don’t seem to give a damn. They even criticize their own company. I am so distracted and trapped that it’s no wonder I can’t come during sex. I just feel all uptight.”

WIFE: “After twenty-seven years of marriage, I still go to church alone. We don’t even talk about it anymore. He hated the church and I love it. It has always been a part of me. He wants sex but I can’t do the things he wants to do. If he can’t even go to church with me, how can he expect me to make love with him? It’s cheap, just cheap thrills. If he loved me, he would be part of my life and my religion. I can’t respect a man who doesn’t honor his faith, any faith.”

Any hope for super marital sex depends more upon our living than our genitals. No one really has a sex life. We have one life, a life we lead as a part of a system, and the twelve problem areas below can be transitional or even permanent blocks to our intimacy.