Personality becomes crucial because it, more than physical appearance, is what arouses the most intense feelings. Beauty may arouse initial feelings of awe, nervousness, lust, or the like, but personality becomes a permanent factor when a couple settle down into a relationship. The saying “familiarity breeds contempt” seems apt here. What happens with many couples is that certain personality traits eventually are seen as embarrassing, disgusting, or irritating. Such traits become chronic sources of displeasure, disinterest, and distaste.

And personality is linked with transference. As I noted previously, each partner transfers the quality of a relationship from the past with a primary figure—generally a parent or sibling—onto his or her current partner. In cases where one spouse or another (or both) are no longer attracted, the problem is generally associated with a negative transference. That is, the partner begins to remind the other in some way of a repellent brother, sister, mother, or father.

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• GAMES FOR PERVERSE COUPLES – GAME 1: GENDER REVERSAL (PART 3)
• GAMES FOR OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE COUPLES – GAME 2: THE NUDE CLEANING LADY/MAN (PART 1)
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